


Be Alright

by almadsy



Category: Class of 198x (Web Series), The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, That's all I can say, lots and lots of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 04:28:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16757959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almadsy/pseuds/almadsy
Summary: Amanda has been acting weird lately, and Sam knows something's going on. When she comes clean, all hell breaks loose.





	Be Alright

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is not set in any universe of mine (maybe) !! Inspiration comes from the song "Be Alright" by Dean Lewis.

> **November 17, 198X**

To put it lightly, Sam was on top of the world.

Windows of his dad’s ‘81 Delorean down, speakers blasting some local pop station, the wind rushing through his hair- and, best of all, Amanda in the passenger seat. Her hand extended out the window, catching the cool November breeze between her graceful fingers as she nodded to the music. She seemed far off, distant. Sam would’ve liked to say _peaceful_.

Long story short, they were playing hooky. It was on rare occasion that Amanda actually _agreed_ to go on Sam’s midday adventures through downtown Springfield, but the stars had aligned perfectly and here she was. Truth be told, Sam never really attended class anyways. He spent most of his time at school lurking around in the hallways and selling weed in the cafeteria. Occasionally he’d make a celebrity appearance in biology class, but his attendance was sparse.

In comparison, however, Amanda was a relatively decent student. Bribed by her parents for good grades and tutored by Hannah (she wrote all of Amanda’s essays), Amanda maintained a solid “A” average. Needless to say, she never skipped school.

But, due to a tragic strain of the flu going around, Hannah had been sick all week- and who else was going to write Amanda’s English paper? Certainly not Amanda. Skipping her last class on Friday would not only give Hannah the rest of the weekend to procure an essay from the depths of hell, but it would also allow Amanda some quality time with Sam. Not to mention, Sam had already sold all his weed to that jackass Steve from the tennis team. As much of an asshole he was, he blindly paid whatever Sam charged him.

“What was that, babe?” Sam turned down the volume knob on the radio, realizing Amanda had been speaking.

“I _said_ , my parents are on vacation.” She clarified as Sam glanced in her direction, half-paying attention to the slow traffic ahead of him. “They won’t be home until Sunday.” Amanda had taken to fiddling with the chipping polish on her nails, biting her lower lip in concentration.

Sam did some mental math. _Ohh._

He cracked a smile, turning his attention back to the road. “Got any plans?”

Amanda shrugged, staying silent. She had been acting strange for a few days, but it wasn’t anything Sam was unfamiliar with. Their first anniversary was coming up in a few weeks, and Sam had gotten used to Amanda’s mood swings. She had her moments. Whatever was on her mind couldn’t be _that_ earth-shattering, otherwise she’d be making a bigger deal out of it. After all, she did tend to overreact.

“There’s a drive-in tonight,” Sam suggested- an afterthought as they passed a huge billboard advertising the _Downtown Springfield Drive-In Theater!_

Amanda hummed in response, neutral. “Just as long as it’s not Karate Kid.”

Sam shot her a pointed look. “Hey, you love Karate Kid!”

“No, _you_ love Karate Kid.” Amanda said as she started to laugh. “And if you make me watch it for the millionth time, I might karate kick you in the crotch.”

Then they were both laughing, and the previous tension was lifted like a thread being cut. The air between them was pleasant. Comforting. Sam reached across the center console and placed a warm hand on Amanda’s thigh, rubbing circles in the fabric of her leggings with his thumb. Amanda responded to this by intertwining her fingers with his, and Sam continued down the road to Amanda’s house with a smile on his face.

And it was always like that. Well, most of the time. Sam had never seen himself as the kind of guy to settle down with a girl so early, but _hell_ \- Amanda was perfect. They were perfect for each other. Her parents adored him, Sam’s mom gushed over Amanda whenever she’d come over for dinner. They always had long, dreamy talks about their big plans for the future. Getting engaged, having a huge wedding and an expensive honeymoon in the Bahamas or something. Whenever he pictured his future, Amanda was in it. He couldn’t imagine his life without her.

It took about fifteen minutes to get from downtown to Amanda’s house. She lived in one of those gated communities far off from the business of the city, white picket fences in every direction and signs that said, “ _Drive like your kids live here!_ ”

Sam pulled into the empty driveway of Amanda’s home- though, _mansion_ would be a more fitting term. Two stories tall, an attic and a basement, all white with black trim and black roofing. The only color resided in the bright yellow door, adorned with a large Christmas wreath. A row of neat shrubs lined a brick porch which took up the majority of the front. Ornate white pillars held up the roof of the porch, coiled with evergreen garland. Clearly, the Hess family took the holidays very seriously.

“Do you guys have a Christmas tree yet?” Sam asked as he pulled in, mostly out of curiosity, but partly in amusement.

Amanda let out a laugh. “No,” She grabbed her purse from the floor of Sam’s car. “My dad’s working on it, though.”

Sam chuckled, putting the car in park in front of the white garage doors- god forbid he park _in_ the garage, else he’d face the wrath of Daddy Hess and his man-cave. Amanda led him across the stone pathway and up the brick steps of the porch, pulling a set of keys from her purse as soon as they got to the front door. First try, wrong key. Second try. Bingo.

Amanda cracked the door open and was immediately greeted by her fat little corgi, Ein, who had been waiting at the door. Amanda strong-armed her way into the house, making sure Ein didn’t get out, then knelt by the door to pet her dog..

“Hey, girl!” Amanda beamed as Ein jumped around and wagged her tail (and her butt) happily. “You want some lunch, Ein?” She stood, hanging her backpack and purse on coat-hangers by the door.

Sam followed suit, shedding his leather jacket and hanging it up. He watched as Amanda headed through the foyer and towards the kitchen, leaving Sam and Ein to have some father-daughter bonding.

Amanda’s house was warm compared to the briskness of Missouri in November. A cozy reprieve, perfect for snuggling up and drinking some hot cocoa- however, hot cocoa was not on Sam’s menu for the night. Only popcorn and sweet, sweet lovemaking.

Sam looked down to find Ein sniffing his pant leg, doing a little dance on her stubby legs. He leaned down to pet her on the head, then the rest of her chubby body. She happily leaned into the attention.

“Did you miss me, Ein?” Sam smiled.

Amanda’s laughter rang throughout the kitchen, beautiful and light. “I think she did, Sammy.”

Sam looked up at her as she opened the pantry, then back down at Ein. “I missed you too, girl.” He patted her on the head.

As soon Ein heard the sound of Amanda opening the bag of dog food, she took off towards the kitchen, trotting as fast as her short legs would take her. Sam stood and followed, not necessarily hungry but still thinking about food.

The kitchen was bigger than Sam’s bedroom at home. Marble countertops lined the walls, and a large stainless steel refrigerator paralleled the island counter that dominated the center of the room. A hanging rack above the island sported several pots and pans. Sam opted to sit at a barstool by the island, afternoon light spilling in from a window above the sink. Setting his keys and wallet down, Sam watched Amanda fondly as she filled Ein’s food bowl with and took the water bowl to the sink.

Her movements were graceful and elegant, just like her. She was perfect. Her short skirt emphasized her waist and thighs, and her skin-tight t-shirt didn’t leave much else to the imagination. Sam could watch Amanda all day. There was nothing he didn’t love about her. She caught his eye as she turned around, and her face lit up with a bright smile. ****  
** **

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Amanda teased, setting the water bowl down and making her way around the island to where Sam sat. ****  
** **

“Nah,” Sam retorted, mostly to himself. “We’ll last forever.” ****  
** **

Sam’s hand gravitated to Amanda’s waist as he looked up at her, starry-eyed. He felt as if the world’s orbit had slowed down a little bit. Like he and Amanda were the only people that mattered. Amanda snaked a hand around the back of Sam’s neck, leaning down to softly press her lips to his. Sam smiled into the kiss, pulling her in closer as she combed her fingers through the back of his hair. The embrace was warm and gentle- just what Sam needed. ****  
** **

When Amanda broke the kiss, she stayed close, locking eyes with Sam. Her blonde hair, now cut into a neck-length bob, framed her beautifully sculpted face. A few freckles from summer remained scattered around her nose and cheeks. Her eyes could kill. Sam was never _not_ in awe of her. ****  
** **

Noticing Sam’s fixation on her, Amanda smiled bashfully and turned away. Her chucks squeaked on the hardwood floor as she started towards the fridge. ****  
** **

“Do you want something to drink?” ****  
** **

Sam idly lowered his gaze to the marble countertop of the island, contemplating whether or not he was actually thirsty. _He had a tab soda on the way back from school, so--_ Sam’s eyes fell upon an open pack of menthol cigarettes on the counter, right next to an empty glass. He could feel the gears in his head turning. Amanda didn’t smoke menthols. Neither did her parents. In fact, he didn’t even know _anyone_ who smoked them. ****  
** **

“Uh, water’s fine.” Sam responded, distant. He returned his focus to Amanda. “You smoke menthols now, babe?” ****  
** **

Amanda whipped around to look at Sam, wide-eyed, then the cigarettes on the counter. “ _No_ .” She said forcefully, moving to grab the pack of cigarettes and toss them in the trash can. “They’re Stacy’s,” Her eyebrows furrowed and she crossed her arms. “She came over to work on a history project and she must’ve left them-- why does it matter to _you_ , anyways?” Suddenly defensive and on-edge, Amanda’s voice raised a bit. ****  
** **

Sam forced a little laugh, feigning relaxation. “I’m not trying to accuse you or anything,” He watched as Amanda distracted herself with getting ice from the freezer. “I was gonna ask for one if you hadn’t thrown them away.” ****  
** **

Amanda kept her back to Sam, letting out a _hmph._ “You hate menthols.” ****  
** **

“ _Okay_ ,” Sam resigned. “Maybe I was just curious.” ****  
** **

Amanda turned back to him with a glass of ice. “ _Maybe_ you don’t have to know every single detail of my life, huh?” She slammed the glass down on the island with such force that Sam winced, afraid it might break. “Get your own damn water, I’m gonna go change.” ****  
** **

Sam watched in confusion as Amanda stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall. A dreadful feeling settled in the pit of Sam’s stomach. Guilt? Worry? _Jealousy_ ? Maybe it was his fault for pressing into it. Maybe she was right. ****  
** **

Maybe he just needed a blunt. ****  
** **

He sat at the counter for a good five minutes after Amanda’s bedroom door slammed from upstairs, watching the ice melt as he rolled a blunt. Amanda had been like this before- feisty, looking for an argument. Sometimes she just needed to let her frustrations out. After all, her parents _did_ go on vacation without her- and her best friend had the flu. ****  
** **

Sam figured he should go check on her before lighting up. He tucked the blunt in his fanny pack for safekeeping, stopping once he was up the stairs to knock on Amanda’s door. ****  
** **

“You okay, babe?” ****  
** **

Amanda sniffled from inside the room. “Yeah.” ****  
** **

Sam’s heart sunk a little at Amanda’s dejected tone, gently pushing open the door and peering in. Amanda sat on the edge of her bed, staring out the window, back turned to Sam. Sam made his way to Amanda, footsteps thundering in the dead silence of the room. Amanda sniffled again as Sam sat beside her on the bed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. ****  
** **

“Hey,” He said softly, and Amanda looked up at him. “I love you.” ****  
** **

Amanda’s gaze quickly fell and she let out a breath. It took her a second to conjure the words “ _I love you too_ ”, but they came and went like an afterthought. They sounded like an apology. ****  
** **

A lump rose in Sam’s throat, but he ignored it. “I know you’ve had a rough week-” ****  
** **

“You don’t know anything.” Amanda said. Her words were cold and detached, but she seemed to regret them as soon they left her mouth. ****  
** **

Sam’s stomach wrenched in fear. He kept his mouth shut in fear of worsening the situation, but a grim silence dawned on the two of them, even more unsettling than before. He just wanted to know what was going on- to offer his help, or at least understand what she was feeling. ****  
** **

“I-” Amanda began, but her voice broke and she stopped herself. “You’re right. I’ve had a bad week.” She shrugged under the weight of Sam’s arm, hanging her head. “I’m sorry I took it out on you, Sammy.” ****  
** **

Sam squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. “It’s okay.” He whispered. “I’m still here, we’re still gonna go on an _awesome_ date tonight, and most importantly-” Sam reached over to tip Amanda’s chin up so that she was looking at him. “We’re still okay.” ****  
** **

Whether or not Sam was saying that to Amanda or to himself, he felt better nonetheless. Tears welled up in Amanda’s eyes, but she blinked them back and stood from the bed, clearing her throat. ****  
** **

“I guess we should head out soon, then.” She glanced to the digital radio-clock on her bedside table. “It’s a Friday night, I’m sure it’ll be packed.” ****  
** **

Her demeanour suddenly changed, as if nothing happened at all. Perhaps she was just trying to brush off the weight of their conversation, but Sam let himself believe that he at least helped. Amanda walked over to her large armoire, opening it and scanning over the various shirts, dresses, and jeans. The wooden armoire, much like her bed and her desk, was stained a dark walnut color. It went surprisingly well with the rest of the pink in her room- pink curtains, pink rug, pink bed sheets. Amanda had a thing for color-coordination. ****  
** **

Amanda picked out a pastel pink sweater and glanced over her shoulder at Sam, who didn’t realize he was staring until Amanda fake-coughed in his direction. ****  
** **

Sam snapped out of it. “Sorry,” He mumbled. ****  
** **

Amanda let out a little laugh- music to Sam’s ears after all the tension. “I don’t care that you’re staring,” She hung the sweater on the doorknob of the armoire and slipped her t-shirt off. “You just looked a little spaced out.” ****  
** **

_Well, yeah_ . Sam had to physically tear his eyes from Amanda. Even after nearly a year, Sam never got used to the sight of her. The light freckles scattered over her shoulders, the dimples on her lower back. How was it possible for someone with such a beautiful, unique personality to have an equally beautiful and unique body? And how in the everloving fuck did Sam manage to end up with her? ****  
** **

Sam stood from the bed, his sneakers hitting the hardwood beneath him with a _thunk_ . Amanda stood by the armoire and tossed her t-shirt in the general direction of her laundry basket, then worked on getting the pink sweater off the closet hanger. Sam not-so-discreetly edged up behind Amanda, snaking his arms around her waist and pulling her close from behind in a gentle hug. ****  
** **

Amanda immediately tensed up like she wasn't expecting it (though his footsteps had been a dead giveaway), but quickly let out an exhale and relaxed into Sam’s chest. She peered over her shoulder at him and cracked a smile. ****  
** **

“Perv.” She chided playfully, leaning up to peck him on the cheek. “Now-” Amanda squirmed in Sam’s embrace, giggling. “Let go of me before we’re _both_ wearing this sweater.” ****  
** **

Sam laughed, leaving a light kiss on Amanda’s shoulder before backing off, a smile lingering on his lips. He watched Amanda slip into the sweater and adjust it as soon as her head popped out, fidgeting with the thick collar. ****  
** **

“Has this thing gotten bigger?” Amanda waved her arms around, the sleeves flopping over her hands.

“Maybe you're shrinking.” Sam noted with a smile. “Soon enough, you'll be two inches tall and I’ll have to carry you around in my pocket.” ****  
** **

Amanda snorted, but quickly played it off as she rolled her eyes to the back of her head. “You're an idiot, Sam.” ****  
** **

“ _Hey_ , you laughed!” Sam defended himself, beaming. ****  
** **

“I only laughed because you're an _idiot_ ,” Amanda said as she suppressed even more laughter, taking a few steps closer to Sam as she spoke. “Idiot.” ****  
** **

Sam had never heard the term _idiot_ used in a more endearing way. Amanda was inches from his face at this point, trying to look mad. Had she not been his girlfriend, Sam might've felt threatened- but right then, all he wanted to do was pick her up and hold her forever. ****  
** **

But then, Amanda’s face fell as if she realized something terrible. She ducked her head and backed away from Sam, the atmosphere of the room suddenly changing for the worse. Sam’s mind raced a million miles a minute- _did he do something?_ Moments ago, everything was fine. ****  
** **

“Amanda,” Sam stepped closer, extending a hand to her. He couldn’t think of what to say. What _could_ he say? ****  
** **

“We should head out, if- if we want to get there before-” ****  
** **

_“Amanda_ .” Sam cut her off, reaching out to place a hand on her arm- warm, even through the sweater. Amanda didn’t meet his gaze. “What’s been going on with you?” ****  
** **

“I can’t-” Amanda seemed to choke on her own words, unable to finish her sentence. She shook her head, a few strands of blonde hair falling in front of her face. “Can we just go, please?” ****  
** **

Sam wanted to say _no_ , wanted to get to the bottom of all this. But Amanda was already at her breaking point- he didn’t want to push her any further. ****  
** **

Sam took a stabilizing breath. “Yeah, we can go.” He cleared his throat and walked past Amanda towards the door of her bedroom. His heart ached, but there wasn’t much he could do. ****  
** **

Sam led the way out of Amanda’s bedroom and down the stairs to the foyer. His mind gravitated to the trash can, to the cigarettes, then back to Amanda. She lied sometimes- but never to Sam. _Why did he feel like she was hiding something?_ ****  
** **

The silence between the two was deafening. Amanda took her purse from the coat-hanger by the door and slipped it over her shoulder as Sam retrieved his wallet and keys from the island counter. Neither of them spoke. Sam watched Ein trot around the kitchen as he waited, his head filled with static and terrible thoughts. He tried to tell himself Amanda was just having a bad day. That he could make it better and things would go back to the way they were. That Amanda wasn’t hiding anything. ****  
** **

Gentle arms around his waist broke him from his trance, startling him. Amanda hugged him from behind and pressed her cheek to his back, a similar embrace to what Sam had done in Amanda’s bedroom. ****  
** **

Sam reached up to intertwine his fingers with hers, a blissful ignorance washing away his worries. _She loved him_ . They had their moments, but at the end of the day, _she loved him_ . And he wouldn't throw that kind of love away for the world. ****  
** **

“You ready to go?” Sam asked tenderly. ****  
** **

“Mhm,” Amanda nodded, still clutching Sam around his middle. “Just a sec.” ****  
** **

Sam peeled Amanda’s arms off him and turned to her, cupping her face with his hands. “Hey,” He whispered, eyes locked with her. “Everything is gonna be okay.” ****  
** **

It felt like making a deal with someone who couldn't hold up their end. Amanda just looked at him and blinked back the tears in her eyes. ****  
** **

“Yeah.” Amanda said hoarsely, and turned away. ****  
** **

Sam never got used to how fast the sun set during the winter. One second it was daytime, then- as if someone had flipped a light switch- it was night. Not that it made that much of a difference temperature-wise, anyways. The November sun in Missouri was deceivingly bright, but never provided much solace when it came to the cold, dry air. Given that, Sam actually preferred night. ****  
** **

The sun had begun to set by the time Sam and Amanda arrived at the drive-in. According to Sam’s radio, it was only 5:00- but the sky was a beautiful assortment of oranges and pinks, illuminating the bustling drive-in in a warm light. ****  
** **

Neither of the two had said much on the ride over. The radio played some pop shit that Sam didn't like and never had liked, but it was just noise. Just noise to fill the empty space between them. ****  
** **

“We have a while until the movie starts.” Amanda observed once Sam had parked. They actually got a decent spot, given the business of the place- dead center, and far enough away that they wouldn't have to break their necks just to see the screen. ****  
** **

They came to an agreement that Amanda would go get concessions while Sam set up for the movie. He had stuffed a thick blanket and a pillow in the space behind the passenger seat, knowing they sure as hell wouldn't be sitting in the car the entire time. ****  
** **

Sam tried to ignore the gawking of drive-in patrons as he pushed open the car door, lifting it up above his head. It simultaneously boosted his ego and made him feel dreadfully insecure to take the Delorean out. It was a damn cool car, and everyone knew it. But after _Back to the Future_ came out in theaters, he couldn't take the thing anywhere without getting some version of “ _Hey Marty, where’s Doc?_ ” wherever he went. ****  
** **

Two kids and a dad stared at Sam, camped out in the trunk of their Station Wagon, jaws dropped. Sam nodded to them and carried the blankets to the hood of the car. ****  
** **

The front of the Delorean was much like a plank- long and flat. _Unreasonably_ long and flat, actually. But quite good for drive-ins, since two people could comfortably lay on the hood and look up at the projected screen. _Who cares if it dents_ ? He could just tell his dad a deer ran in front of the car. ****  
** **

Sam sprawled the blanket over the hood and tossed the pillow on it, still feeling eyes on him- or, rather, his car. He may as well have had a giant neon sign on his back that said _DADDY’S MONEY!_ ****  
** **

And Amanda was returning in what felt like no time at all, struggling to manage two boxes of nachos and two cans of soda. ****  
** **

“Here, let me help with that-” Sam rushed to her aid, taking the nacho boxes. ****  
** **

“Thanks, Sammy.” Amanda laughed at the awkward exchange, grabbing the two cans she had wedged between her arm and her side. “The chick in front of us is totally checking you out, by the way.” ****  
** **

Sam looked up in curiosity- sure enough, a girl perched atop the hood of a jeep quickly turned away from him and pretended to watch the pre-movie cartoons showing on the screen. ****  
** **

“Nah, it’s just the car.” Sam brushed it off nonchalantly and leaned against the hood, returning his gaze to Amanda. ****  
** **

“I mean, you do look good.” Amanda shrugged. ****  
** **

Sam smiled at the compliment, setting the nachos down on the hood. “You look better.” ****  
** **

Amanda rolled her eyes. “ _We_ look like a couple of rich assholes who’re gonna get bored halfway through the movie and start fucking in the car.” ****  
** **

Sam didn't bother to stifle the laugh that erupted from his chest. “You been thinking about that one, babe?” ****  
** **

Amanda smirked and popped the tab on one of her Cokes. “Guess you'll have to find out, _McFly_ .” ****  
** **

When dusk finally hit, the movie started up and the whole drive-in went silent. Sam has seen _Blade Runner_ before- he owned it on VHS, actually- but it only got better the second time around. The action, the plot, the characters… The entire movie was a work of art. ****  
** **

But Sam could tell Amanda wasn't digging it. She rested her head on Sam’s chest, fiddling with the zipper on his leather jacket. Occasionally she made some off-handed comment about plot inconsistency- but for the most part, she just busied herself with Sam, gradually becoming more and more bold as the movie progressed. First it was the jacket, then she slipped her hand under his t-shirt, and it all went south from there- _literally_ . ****  
** **

And _god-fucking-dammit_ , Sam loved Blade Runner _._ But he loved Amanda more, and she knew exactly how to drive him crazy. ****  
** **

“We should get out of here,” Amanda mumbled against Sam’s collarbone as Decker fired a bullet at Zhora on-screen. Amanda had been more than busy trailing kisses (and probably bruises) down his neck. ****  
** **

Sam couldn't agree more. “Yeah-” He managed, propping himself up on one elbow and clearing his throat. “Yeah, we should probably go.” ****  
** **

The two dismounted the hood of the car, surprisingly without denting it, wasting no time gathering their stuff and packing it all up. Sam no longer gave a shit about the looks he was getting, just started the car and drove out the same way he came in. ****  
** **

Amanda wasn't much help at driving. Already high on adrenaline and the feeling of Amanda on his neck, Sam punched the gas and sped down the road to Amanda’s house, eager as ever. ****  
** **

They left their shit in the car. After the emotional rollercoaster of a day they had, the two of them were both in need of some sort of release. Amanda was already at the front door by the time Sam locked his car, and he half-jogged after her, following Amanda into the house. ****  
** **

They bypassed the dog on the way in and, growing impatient, Sam begrudgingly followed Amanda up the stairs to her bedroom- though, it would have been hilarious to have sex in her parents’ bed. ****  
** **

In all honestly, it was like a badly choreographed community theatre musical. Rehearsed, comfortable, a bit embarrassing. Amanda had carelessly turned her radio on, the same pop songs that always played ringing through the room. Nothing about it was perfect, or beautiful, but nothing ever was. Amanda was loud, Sam was clumsy. They shared laughs and kisses and for the duration, Sam forgot about everything that had happened that day. In the moment, in love, in _way_ over his head. But he wouldn't have it any other way. ****  
** **

And then it was over. Like the end of New Years, when the fireworks finally end and everyone knows the night is over but they still want more. ****  
** **

Sam lounged on Amanda’s bed, hands behind his head, watching as Amanda slipped her sweater back on and sat, cross-legged, beside him. ****  
** **

There were no words. What could be said, anyways? _Thanks_ ? Sam chuckled a bit to himself at the thought. ****  
** **

“I’m gonna go get some water.” Amanda said quietly- almost hoarsely- as she slid off the bed and stood. ****  
** **

Sam hummed, too much dopamine pumping through his brain to think of a clever response. Earlier, he would've overthinked her curtness and led himself down a spiral of self-blame, but it wasn't even a worry to him anymore. _She loved him_ . She _had_ to. ****  
** **

The door creaked shut as Amanda left the room, and that was Sam’s cue to put some damn clothes on. He managed to find his jeans in the darkness of Amanda’s bedroom, discarded on the floor by the bed. Judging by the lightness of them, Sam’s wallet was still in the Delorean. _Meh._ There was hardly ever any crime in Amanda’s neighborhood, anyways. ****  
** **

Sam lounged around, waiting for Amanda to return so they could get some much-needed sleep. He watched the radio clock count the minutes that passed. Five. Ten. Fifteen minutes. ****  
** **

He slipped on his shoes and grabbed a shirt, figuring he should go check on her. ****  
** **

“You down here, babe?” Sam called out as he descended the stairs. No answer. ****  
** **

A cold chill rushed over him when he got to the bottom. Peering around the stairwell, Sam noticed that the front door was wide open. Something unsettling rose in his chest. ****  
** **

“Amanda?” ****  
** **

Amanda sat on the front porch steps, facing the driveway. She didn't look back at him or even acknowledge that he was calling her name, just stared out into the night. Far-off. Distant. ****  
** **

Sam stood in the doorway, the cold air covering his arms with goosebumps. ****  
** **

“Amanda, come inside,” Sam forced a little laugh. “It’s freezing out here.” ****  
** **

Amanda turned halfway, still not looking directly at him. “Sorry.” She muttered. ****  
** **

_Uh oh_ . Sam started towards her. “Hey, it’s okay,” Sam said gently, sitting down beside her. “Here-” He wrapped one arm around her shoulders. “I’ll warm you up.” ****  
** **

Amanda sighed and looked down at the steps. “No, I’m sorry.” She repeated. “I know I’ve been really weird today, I just-” Amanda got choked up on her words and covered her mouth with one hand. Tears pooled in her eyes. ****  
** **

“Hey,” Sam squeezed her shoulder a little tighter, anxiety pooling in his stomach. _So much for that dopamine_ . “Amanda, I'm sure it’s fine-” ****  
** **

“It’s not fucking fine!” Amanda suddenly exploded, and they finally met eyes. ****  
** **

Sam’s heart shattered a little bit at the sight of her so broken-up, and he removed his arm from her shoulder warily. ****  
** **

Amanda recoiled as if she was shocked with herself. “It’s not just _fine_ , Sam, nothing’s fucking _fine_ .” ****  
** **

Sam opened his mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. Something much deeper, much more terrifying was going on. She was never like this. _Never_ . ****  
** **

“Amanda, I don't-” ****  
** **

“I know.” Amanda said under her breath. She fiddled with her chipped nail polish, avoiding eye contact. After a long moment of silence, she spoke again. “Sam, I…” She took a deep breath. “I made a mistake.” ****  
** **

Sam’s brain was trying to work through equations he didn't even know existed. Amanda continued, and Sam couldn't tell if it was the cold that was making her tremble. ****  
** **

“The cigarettes on the table, from earlier…” Amanda spoke slowly, like she was struggling to force the words out of her. “They weren't Stacy’s.” ****  
** **

Sam felt a wave of relief wash over him. _Okay_ . So she smoked menthols. No big deal. Sam had always voiced his hatred for menthols, but it wasn't ever anything serious. Amanda could smoke whatever she- ****  
** **

“ _They were Steve’s_ .” ****  
** **

Sam’s entire world collapsed. ****  
** **

He could physically feel his heart as it broke in two. ****  
** **

Everything from then on was static, just white noise in the background as his whole body felt the pain of the realization. His chest ached and his stomach threatened to reject the nachos from earlier. ****  
** **

Amanda’s voice hardly even registered anymore. ****  
** **

“ _He- he invited me to this tennis game and asked if I needed a ride home, I didn't mean to, one thing led to another and-_ ” She cut herself off, tears pouring down her cheeks. ****  
** **

“And _what_ ?” Sam raised his voice, standing from the porch, wanting to get as far away as possible. “What did you _do_ , Amanda?” ****  
** **

Amanda hung her head and sobbed. That was all Sam needed- her silence spoke volumes. Sam felt like he was going to be sick. ****  
** **

“I can't fucking believe this.” Sam said. “After everything? After a _year_ , Amanda?!” ****  
** **

She didn't speak. ****  
** **

“What about getting married?!” Sam shouted, not holding back the tears. “Remember how you'd always fucking talk about it? About our _wedding_ ?” His voice was breaking, but he didn't care. “Our _kids_ ? You wanted a baby girl! We were going to name her Emily after your fucking _mom,_ Amanda, what happened to that?!” ****  
** **

“I’m sorry.” Amanda sobbed into her hands. ****  
** **

“Were you sorry when he was _fucking_ you, Amanda?!” Sam went full out no-holds-barred, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Sam paced in front of the steps, dread consuming him. He stopped and lowered his voice. “I thought it was just gonna be you and me.” He spoke softly, but the hopelessness in his voice was evident. “Us against the world. Ride-or-die.” ****  
** **

Amanda just weeped, her whole body shaking. Part of Sam wanted to comfort her. Wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright. He wanted to _forgive_ her. Put all of this behind them. ****  
** **

But he couldn't. He couldn't shake the soul-crushing feeling of betrayal. The hopelessness. ****  
** **

Sam looked towards his car, then back at Amanda. ****  
** **

“I- I love you,” Amanda said between sobs, looking up at him. She was a wreck. ****  
** **

Sam wanted to say _I love you too_ . ****  
** **

But instead, he got in his car and left.


End file.
